Monogamy

Helen and Maurice Kaye met in 1929 when they were just teenagers. Fast forward to 2015 and the pair is now celebrating their 80th anniversary. They’ve been married longer than most people on Earth have been alive. Through thick and thin, their marriage has endured. They lost two children and survived a war and the bombing of their house. After their young son died, Helen even thought about suicide.

And yet, their commitment to each other never faltered. Helen says she doesn’t know what the secret to wedded bliss is, but she thinks patience and tolerance are important.

Stories like these, are what movies are made of. Many people dream of finding someone to spend forever with.

Yet, couples like Maurice and Helen are becoming rarer. Divorce is more prevalent than ever. In many countries more than half of married couples divorce.

Take Linda Wolfe for example, she’s been married 23 times. She’s the most married woman in the world. Her late husband was a man named Glynn Wolfe, a preacher who’d been married 29 times. Linda says she loves the feeling of being in love. And when that feeling fades, she looks for someone new.

Divorce is becoming more common every day. One out of every 2.7 marriages suffers from at least one bout of adultery.

This leaves some of us wondering, are humans meant to be monogamous?

When it comes down to it, scientists say that only 3 to 5 percent of mammals actually form life-long, monogamous bonds. Some of the most note-worthy are wolves, beavers and bats. That means that if humans are anything like other mammals, a faithful spouse would be unusual.

“I don’t think we are a monogamous animal,” says Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology. “A really monogamous animal is a goose – which never mates again even if its mate is killed.” Instead, she believes that monogamy creates social order, but it’s not our natural state.

Many people would disagree. They might argue that failed marriage isn’t a sign that humans aren’t monogamous. It’s a sign that two people weren’t right for each other.

Some even believe in soul mates like Anna and Boriz Kozlov who married, were separated by World War II, and then found each other 60 years later and remarried.

For those of us looking for a soul mate, here’s some advice. According to a study that followed 130 couples over six years, Kindness and generosity are the two best predictors of marital success. Researchers found that the more someone receives kindness, the kinder they are to themselves as well, which leads to happier individuals and healthier marriages. Nice guys and gals do finish first when it comes to long-term love.

What do you think? Are humans meant to be monogamous?

The post Monogamy appeared first on Deep English.

from Deep English » Blog http://deepenglish.com/2015/11/monogamy/

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